Never Did I Ever

When I was growing up there were a list of things that my parents would say to me that I never thought I would say to my kids. There were the usuals: "because I said so", "were your born in a barn" and many others. There were also the things that I knew that I would say because, well, it comes with being a parent. Things like "Mommy and Daddy are talking", "pick up your toys or you cannot have ____ (fill in the blank)", "if you can't be nice you are going to bed", etc.
When I became a parent, I looked down at my beautiful daughter's face and could not get enough. I couldn't stop smiling and laughing at the cute things she did as the months went on. Then she started crawling and thus began the next group of sayings. The things I never thought I would say. The following are just some of the things that I have uttered as my daughter has grown:
"Stop licking the dog."
"Stop licking the floor."
"Stop licking your brother."
"Stop licking the cabinets."
"Stop licking the bathtub."
"Stop licking the door."
"The dogs tail is not a popsicle!"
"Braelyn, your brother is not a chew toy!"
"Please don't put Max's foot in your mouth."
"Stop wiping your bottom on the carpet!"
"Braelyn get out of the vasoline!"
"Braelyn stop taking your clothes off!"
"Don't take your panties off outside."
"Please don't pick your bottom while you are on the potty."
Well a few days ago there was another phrase that I uttered to my daughter. In the words of "Monk", here's what happened.
Braelyn was in her toy room playing and laughing. She got quiet so I looked over to see what she was doing. She was playing with her computer so I turned back around. My 2 month old son started crying to eat so I picked him up and started nursing him. A couple of minutes into nursing him Braelyn came over to me with no undies on and said "here you go Mommy". She had something in her hand so I said "thank you". As she started to turn her hand over and try to put it in my lap I got a whiff of what she was carrying. Oh yes, you guessed it, her poop. She was hand delivering her poop to me. In one second I thought "she doesn't know that this is wrong and how gross it is, she is only two and has never had to be scolded for anything like this. You can't yell. Keep it together and be calm when you do vocally react." So I said "Braelyn poopy is not a present. Please don't give it to people. Poopy stays in the toilet and if you have an accident it stays in your panties." Okay, the second part I think is a good reaction. After I said it I couldn't believe that is the route my brain decided to go with. I could just see it falling on my sons head as he was trying to eat and that grossed me out. That would mean a bath for him and pretty much a bath for Braelyn. Let's just say that the footprint she left on the kitchen floor on her way over was not made from mud.
 I can't even begin to imagine what she has in store for us in the coming years. There is never a dull moment and she ALWAYS knows how to make us laugh. But sometimes she is more creative than I would like. Oh the joys of parenthood. And she's only two!!