As I write this, I’m not sure what words are going to follow. All I know is my brain and heart can’t handle it anymore. Since Sunday I have seen eleven memes and pictures about how ADHD isn’t real and similar sayings. ELEVEN! The ones that stand out are about how “many years ago it was called daydreaming and now it’s called ADHD and treated with drugs”, “childhood is now a mental illness”, and, the one that gets under my skin the most is a picture of a young girl making a mean face and it says that before it was called behavioral disorders, it was called “being a little brat”. After seeing the last one of a belt saying how that’s the real cure for ADHD, I was quite livid for many reasons. Let me explain.
If you have seen these, posted these, or even laughed at these, please understand that my goal is nothing more than to help you understand just what happens to all of us who have been chosen to walk this path, either ourselves or as parents of little ones who are walking this path when we see these posted by our friends and loved ones. In plain English? It absolutely crushes us in every sense of the word. Let me explain a little more.
My daughter is diagnosed with ADHD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, and Sensory Processing Disorder. When she was two, she got so mad because I took her shoes off that she picked one of them up and threw it at me. (She still does this sometimes by the way.) when she was three, you couldn’t get her to finish her sentence half the time without jumping to something else. When she was almost five she started talking about how she didn’t like being so different from other kids. When she was just barely five, that was the first time she talked about not wanting to be here anymore and wanting to be in Heaven. We did the whole diet change and all the other things people suggest and, yes, we found a minor difference. But not enough. After talking her doctor and completing assessments, she finally received the diagnoses we always kind of knew were there. I will never forget that day. I’ve never felt such grief and relief at the same time before. Having ADHD myself, I knew exactly what she was about to go through in school and in life in general. My heart broke for her. Fast forward to now, three years later, after three months of weekly occupational therapy, psychologist appointments and med checks with her pediatrician every couple of months and she is doing so well most of the time. But it’s still a struggle. After all of this time, as a parent, I still question if what we are doing is the right thing. Even though I know how effective it is.
Sunday night, after such a great time it’s family at Easter, I started seeing these memes. Monday I saw a couple more. Yesterday I saw several more. Today, my cup runneth over with frustration. I know that most likely you have no intention of hurting anyone’s feelings when you post those things. At least I hope not. But somewhere, in your list of hundreds of friends who are seeing you post that, there is a silent group of people reading it through tears. You probably don’t even know the struggle they are facing because they don’t talk about it. Why don’t they talk about it? Because of these memes. They make us feel isolated and judged. One more person would just think we are crazy and recommend a diet change or just get a good probiotic and that will cure it. And when it doesn’t work, we feel completely inept and that we aren’t good enough at this parenting thing because everyone else has the answer and it’s working for their kid while ours are still having meltdowns and banging their heads against the walls or throwing their things at our heads. Clearly we are doing something wrong. Clearly we aren’t good enough right? Maybe if this other parent had our kids they would be better off because clearly I’m not doing it right. We were thinking about seeking professional help and medications but since you suggested that those medications lead to addiction in the future (insert biggest eye roll emoji ever here), now we are questioning that too. These are just a few of the thoughts that flood our heads in that first two seconds that we see these. I used to be that Mom who felt about as big as a baby ant anytime I saw one of these. Now I get angry because somewhere there are several moms and dads who are seeing it and just starting down this awful, emotional, long, exhausting journey to finding the right help for their kid, and now they are questioning themselves again. Not just as parents, but as a person. Because who would even think about giving their kid something that would cause them to be addicted to drugs and alcohol later? You are unknowingly making someone’s life even more difficult. You are helping to silence a group of people that desperately need to be heard, loved, and accepted.
Listen, I know you aren’t educated on ADHD. I know you haven’t done the research and looked at all the scientific data that’s out there on the connection between dopamine and ADHD. If you had you would know that a trademark of ADHD is low levels of dopamine. And yes, ADHD, kids are more likely to end up using drugs or alcohol especially in middle and high school. But why? It’s called self medication. When they can’t find the right medication that works for them they seek something that will work. Or when their friends start teasing them for taking medication or acting different, they start looking for ways to be accepted. ADHDers are chemically wired to seek dopamine.
If you had done some more research, you would also find that the suicide rate for children with ADHD is significantly higher than those without. In fact, more suicides in young people are being linked to ADHD more than depression. And let’s be clear, when I say young people, I mean children as young as five and six. ADHD children are nearly four times more likely to commit suicide. Let me help you understand why. Kids with ADHD are different. They are often times awkward, strange, and because they are so impulsive, they do some crazy stuff and don’t even realize they did it until it’s done. And sometimes not even then. All of this makes it hard to make friends in school. They are outcasts typically. They are bullied. They are left out of birthday parties and after school hang outs. Their self esteem is typically very low and sometimes nonexistent. They are lonely and punished a lot for their impulsive behaviors. They understand at a young age that they aren’t like the other kids. They see how they aren’t accepted and how they are made fun of. They hear the whispers and laughter in the locker rooms after gym class. Their thoughts are confirmed when the whispers and laughs stop when they walk in. And are greeted with stares and silence.
When I was diagnosed with ADHD around second or third grade, I was put on medication. It took a while to figure out which one worked, but when we found one, I was SO thankful. The first time I could sit still in a classroom was strangely wonderful. By this time most of the people I went to school with had made their friendship circles already and there wasn’t room for me. Seeing it now as a parent is even more gut wrenching than experiencing it first hand. I know what it feels like to feel that boulder of uncertainty weighing me down and bringing me to tears almost daily. So when I see those memes, the only thing I can think of is all of those people seeing that same meme and cowering in the corner again in a panic attack that is all to familiar, unable to talk to their friend and be vulnerable about something that weighs on their minds every minute of every day. What we see when we see those is one more person we can’t talk to. Someone we thought we were close to and that we could tell anything to is now off limits and we are isolated once again.
It’s your wall, your Facebook page, your life. I get it. But what if we all remembered that quote?
“Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.”
Wednesday, April 4, 2018
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
If You Want to Hear God Laugh...
They say some of the most stressful things in life are moving, having a baby and starting a new job. Well in the Bates family, we apparently decided to do all of those at once.
We were living in Jeffersonville, In and my husband got a job offer in Belpre Ohio. We both grew up in central Ohio and we knew we always wanted to move back. But, as the saying goes, if you want to hear God laugh tell Him your plans right? See our plan was for Bobby to find a job in Ohio and us to move. Well that happened and then some.
Well first and foremost I have to say, I have NEVER felt God so much in one situation as I did during this whole thing. Bobby had been let go from his job at Discover where he did home loan mortgages. This, although crazy stressful, became a huge blessing in disguise. Soon after he was let go, the company laid off over 300 people. With having two children under the age of 3, this was probably the most stressed out we have ever been. We were broke and were the most dependent we have ever been on anything God was able to give us. I'm talking food stamps, kids on medicaid, living on unemploymen dependent. Bobby was able to find a couple of side jobs through neighbors and family. But I have to be honest, I STILL have no idea how me made it.
At the risk of sounding crazy, I'm going to tell you about an experience I had while at church with our amazing WRCC family. We went to church that morning feeling down, depressed, confused, and just not in a good place altogether. We took Braelyn to bible class and took Max in to the auditorium for service. Max started to get fussy and sleepy so Bobby took him out. As I sat there and church started, I couldn't get my mind off of our lives and what was happening. The opening prayer was said and I immediately started crying. Mason Trennaman, who had no idea what was happening, said a prayer that spoke straight to my heart. He asked God to keep our minds on Him and not think about the stresses from finances, jobs or any other things going on in our lives. From then on, every song that we sang, every prayer that was prayed and the sermon I felt like were all directed at us. When the sermon started (this is the crazy part) I HEARD God's voice in my head as clear as if it were my own daughter talking to me. I heard Him tell me "Be patient, wait for Me. I have a plan for you that is better than you can imagine." Boy was He right. Three days after that, Bobby got a call from His uncle saying he may have a job for him. That afternoon he called back and asked if Bobby could start the next day at a cost accountant job in Ohio. It was a whirlwind from there. He left and God took off with His plan. We ran into a problem with selling the house, God fixed that with giving us renters the day after we put the word out to a couple of people. We needed a place to live while we transitioned from Indiana to Ohio. God provided again with an open invitation to come live with Bobby's aunt and uncle.
We got up here and started to get settled, and then God revealed a part of His plan that we were DEFINITELY NOT banking on or planning yet. A couple of days of not being sure what was going on and a couple pregnancy tests later, and well, baby number three is due in September. You can just call me Fertile Myrtle. Nothing we did to prevent pregnancy worked so I KNOW this is God's hand again. So now we are really on a crunch to find a house and move as soon as we can. I have to admit, I KNOW God has provided and had this whole thing in His hands, but I am very nervous about what lies on the other side.
We had this plan of what we wanted to happen and how it would go. I think we gave God a pretty good chuckle.
We were living in Jeffersonville, In and my husband got a job offer in Belpre Ohio. We both grew up in central Ohio and we knew we always wanted to move back. But, as the saying goes, if you want to hear God laugh tell Him your plans right? See our plan was for Bobby to find a job in Ohio and us to move. Well that happened and then some.
Well first and foremost I have to say, I have NEVER felt God so much in one situation as I did during this whole thing. Bobby had been let go from his job at Discover where he did home loan mortgages. This, although crazy stressful, became a huge blessing in disguise. Soon after he was let go, the company laid off over 300 people. With having two children under the age of 3, this was probably the most stressed out we have ever been. We were broke and were the most dependent we have ever been on anything God was able to give us. I'm talking food stamps, kids on medicaid, living on unemploymen dependent. Bobby was able to find a couple of side jobs through neighbors and family. But I have to be honest, I STILL have no idea how me made it.
At the risk of sounding crazy, I'm going to tell you about an experience I had while at church with our amazing WRCC family. We went to church that morning feeling down, depressed, confused, and just not in a good place altogether. We took Braelyn to bible class and took Max in to the auditorium for service. Max started to get fussy and sleepy so Bobby took him out. As I sat there and church started, I couldn't get my mind off of our lives and what was happening. The opening prayer was said and I immediately started crying. Mason Trennaman, who had no idea what was happening, said a prayer that spoke straight to my heart. He asked God to keep our minds on Him and not think about the stresses from finances, jobs or any other things going on in our lives. From then on, every song that we sang, every prayer that was prayed and the sermon I felt like were all directed at us. When the sermon started (this is the crazy part) I HEARD God's voice in my head as clear as if it were my own daughter talking to me. I heard Him tell me "Be patient, wait for Me. I have a plan for you that is better than you can imagine." Boy was He right. Three days after that, Bobby got a call from His uncle saying he may have a job for him. That afternoon he called back and asked if Bobby could start the next day at a cost accountant job in Ohio. It was a whirlwind from there. He left and God took off with His plan. We ran into a problem with selling the house, God fixed that with giving us renters the day after we put the word out to a couple of people. We needed a place to live while we transitioned from Indiana to Ohio. God provided again with an open invitation to come live with Bobby's aunt and uncle.
We got up here and started to get settled, and then God revealed a part of His plan that we were DEFINITELY NOT banking on or planning yet. A couple of days of not being sure what was going on and a couple pregnancy tests later, and well, baby number three is due in September. You can just call me Fertile Myrtle. Nothing we did to prevent pregnancy worked so I KNOW this is God's hand again. So now we are really on a crunch to find a house and move as soon as we can. I have to admit, I KNOW God has provided and had this whole thing in His hands, but I am very nervous about what lies on the other side.
We had this plan of what we wanted to happen and how it would go. I think we gave God a pretty good chuckle.
Monday, January 14, 2013
Back To The Basics
I have a rule for myself. When bad things happen I let myself feel depressed, sad, upset, angry, or whatever negative emotion I need to feel and deal with for a small amount of time. Anywhere from an hour to a day depending on the situation, but no more than a day. Once that time is up, I move forward. Or at least start the process of moving forward. I start trying to change my thinking and perspective. Either I sit down and start writing out a plan to change things, writing in a journal, dropping to my knees in prayer right there in that moment, or just take my kids outside and go for a walk or play or do something that takes the focus off of whatever the situation is. My kids often start the process by giving me a smile when I need it most. If you know my kids you know my daughter is always a great form of entertainment.
I came up with this rule when we lost our twins two years ago. It was such a tragic event that put me in such a deep depressed place that I needed to find the right path to being myself again. So I came up with this rule. I allowed myself to feel that deep depressed place for the rest of that day and then decided that once that day was over I was going to do whatever I could to start the process of getting my life back. That didn't mean forgetting or never acknowledging them again or even never crying again. I definitely still cried and I still to this day think about them each day several times a day. But I needed to find a way to remember them and keep them with me in a healthy way, not a way that would send me into a depression each time. God gave us emotions for a reason. I believe they are another tool he uses to teach us and help us grow. For me, this rule allows me to get back to the things in life that are important and that keep me grounded and joyful, the things that matter the most in life. The basics.
Some people think that the basics in life are the simple things, the small things, things that in the grand scheme of things don't matter all that much. But what is simple, small or insignificant about my children, my husband, my family, and especially my God?! Those are all things that have formed me and made me who I am today and the things that will shape my future and that are changing me right now. They are the fundamentals, the base of my life. But when life gets crazy those are the things that I tend to forget first. Not that I neglect my children but I am not as connected with them when I am stressed out. It is all business and I forget to take time to enjoy them and not just meet their needs. It is usually at the end of the day around bath time or bed time when I realize that I have been more business like than mother like.
When the Pharisees asked "which is the greatest commandment", Jesus gave such a simple basic command that is the most important thing that we are to do. "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." There is so much to learn from Jesus' life and his words. I could live for 1000 years and never really learn everything that He can possibly teach me. So when I see him give such a simple response, it surprises me a little. But there is nothing simple about Jesus or anything that he teaches. It sounds simple but when you look at what He is asking, not so much. The more I look at that verse the more it blows my mind.
I love my children more than life. There is nothing I would not do for them. And when it comes down to it I'm not too sure I could sacrifice them to save the world like our Father did. Sorry guys but if God ever asked me to do that, I have a feeling that I would say, as my dad says, you can stick our head between your legs and kiss your butt goodbye. Jesus asks, no, COMMANDS us to love the Lord more than ANYTHING else in our lives. That is hard. It is a basic command in that it is the fundamental, the foundation and base of everything that is me. But there is nothing simple about it.
Having worked the last nine years in the mental illness/developmental disabilities area of the social service field, I have a lot of first hand experience of how powerful the mind can be and how reality can be so distorted for some people. Our mind has the power to create it's own reality, it's own world. Our mind creates a reality that most of the time is not accurate. By switching my perspective and focusing solely on Jesus, it is amazing how everything else just falls into place.
Life has been a little crazy for various reasons lately. There are lots of things happening and when I get overwhelmed or stressed, I shut down and push it away. In the process of doing that, I lose that commandment that Jesus has given me. "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." I can't just love Him when it's time to go to church on Sunday or when things get hard. That doesn't work. I need to be throwing my whole self into the Word and into prayer. Loving the Lord should be soul stirring and move you down to your core. It should shake your whole being. It should overtake you.
No matter how crazy life gets, how difficult things become, or how badly we feel about things, we are commanded to "Love the Lord" with everything within us. The devil will always be there, bad things will always happen. But if my mind and my soul and my heart are rooted in Jesus, nothing can stop me. When you love the Lord the way Jesus commands us, I find pure joy and contentment. It's time to find that joy and contentment again. It's time for me to get back to the basics.
I always find joy in these sweet kiddos! I mean, how can you not?
This is the book I am reading again to help me get back to the basics.
I came up with this rule when we lost our twins two years ago. It was such a tragic event that put me in such a deep depressed place that I needed to find the right path to being myself again. So I came up with this rule. I allowed myself to feel that deep depressed place for the rest of that day and then decided that once that day was over I was going to do whatever I could to start the process of getting my life back. That didn't mean forgetting or never acknowledging them again or even never crying again. I definitely still cried and I still to this day think about them each day several times a day. But I needed to find a way to remember them and keep them with me in a healthy way, not a way that would send me into a depression each time. God gave us emotions for a reason. I believe they are another tool he uses to teach us and help us grow. For me, this rule allows me to get back to the things in life that are important and that keep me grounded and joyful, the things that matter the most in life. The basics.
Some people think that the basics in life are the simple things, the small things, things that in the grand scheme of things don't matter all that much. But what is simple, small or insignificant about my children, my husband, my family, and especially my God?! Those are all things that have formed me and made me who I am today and the things that will shape my future and that are changing me right now. They are the fundamentals, the base of my life. But when life gets crazy those are the things that I tend to forget first. Not that I neglect my children but I am not as connected with them when I am stressed out. It is all business and I forget to take time to enjoy them and not just meet their needs. It is usually at the end of the day around bath time or bed time when I realize that I have been more business like than mother like.
When the Pharisees asked "which is the greatest commandment", Jesus gave such a simple basic command that is the most important thing that we are to do. "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." There is so much to learn from Jesus' life and his words. I could live for 1000 years and never really learn everything that He can possibly teach me. So when I see him give such a simple response, it surprises me a little. But there is nothing simple about Jesus or anything that he teaches. It sounds simple but when you look at what He is asking, not so much. The more I look at that verse the more it blows my mind.
I love my children more than life. There is nothing I would not do for them. And when it comes down to it I'm not too sure I could sacrifice them to save the world like our Father did. Sorry guys but if God ever asked me to do that, I have a feeling that I would say, as my dad says, you can stick our head between your legs and kiss your butt goodbye. Jesus asks, no, COMMANDS us to love the Lord more than ANYTHING else in our lives. That is hard. It is a basic command in that it is the fundamental, the foundation and base of everything that is me. But there is nothing simple about it.
Having worked the last nine years in the mental illness/developmental disabilities area of the social service field, I have a lot of first hand experience of how powerful the mind can be and how reality can be so distorted for some people. Our mind has the power to create it's own reality, it's own world. Our mind creates a reality that most of the time is not accurate. By switching my perspective and focusing solely on Jesus, it is amazing how everything else just falls into place.
Life has been a little crazy for various reasons lately. There are lots of things happening and when I get overwhelmed or stressed, I shut down and push it away. In the process of doing that, I lose that commandment that Jesus has given me. "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." I can't just love Him when it's time to go to church on Sunday or when things get hard. That doesn't work. I need to be throwing my whole self into the Word and into prayer. Loving the Lord should be soul stirring and move you down to your core. It should shake your whole being. It should overtake you.
No matter how crazy life gets, how difficult things become, or how badly we feel about things, we are commanded to "Love the Lord" with everything within us. The devil will always be there, bad things will always happen. But if my mind and my soul and my heart are rooted in Jesus, nothing can stop me. When you love the Lord the way Jesus commands us, I find pure joy and contentment. It's time to find that joy and contentment again. It's time for me to get back to the basics.
I always find joy in these sweet kiddos! I mean, how can you not?
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Thankfulness
"Today is World Diabetes Day. I'm so thankful for the opportunity to live with this chronic disease. There are many moments when I cry, hurt, feel hopeless, frustrated, sick - but God blesses me through these times. Having this medical condition is an opportunity to live with intention and gratitude. It was almost 23 years ago when I found out - a ten year old girl in Mrs. Hewitt's fourth grade class. Life drastically changed that day. I continue to walk forward in faith. Life often feels hard, but I praise God more and more. There is so much to savor and appreciate."
This was the status update of one of my good friends from college. Because of her diabetes she has had many struggles having to do with that. It has made her life harder than most people's lives. Even watching all that she has gone through her attitude amazes me! I remember when I was in college no matter what was happening she always had a smile and some wonderful positive encouraging words to say. No one ever really knew how her struggles affected her life because the attitude she possessed about it was astounding. And still is. Looking back when you could tell she was not feeling well, she was probably sicker than any of us had been all year. She possesses something that I hope to soon possess and immediately start praying for...true thankfulness for all the things that happen in life.
What an amazing thing she chooses to do each day! The ability to look at all things in her life as blessings from the Lord. That is exactly what they are! I am a firm believer that there is a reason for everything and that the Lord has a plan no matter what. There are a lot of things that happen in my life that I consider very challenging, traumatic, and that I feel like are a big deal and a big part of my life. The truth is that I don't live with any chronic diseases, I don't have children who were born with life altering challenges, I have a wonderful supportive husband, and my life is pretty great. Don't get me wrong, there have been some pretty huge things that have happened and will happen again, but I don't have to face a chronic disease each and everyday to the point of taking medication and being hospitalized from time to time. My friend could and has every right to be angry and cry and question God. But she doesn't. She chooses to change her attitude and look at this daily obstacle as a blessing...a BLESSING! What a concept!?
My prayers have changed since reading my friends status. I pray that I can change my attitude about the obstacles that Satan throws my way. I pray that no matter what happens that my joy stays intact and that I can smile through the pain and know that I am in the Lord's hands and that He has a plan!
I pray that her outlook challenges all of us to change ours!! Thanksgiving the holiday is over, but the thanksgiving we give for all of our blessings and obstacles should be a daily thing everyday of the year!
What an amazing thing she chooses to do each day! The ability to look at all things in her life as blessings from the Lord. That is exactly what they are! I am a firm believer that there is a reason for everything and that the Lord has a plan no matter what. There are a lot of things that happen in my life that I consider very challenging, traumatic, and that I feel like are a big deal and a big part of my life. The truth is that I don't live with any chronic diseases, I don't have children who were born with life altering challenges, I have a wonderful supportive husband, and my life is pretty great. Don't get me wrong, there have been some pretty huge things that have happened and will happen again, but I don't have to face a chronic disease each and everyday to the point of taking medication and being hospitalized from time to time. My friend could and has every right to be angry and cry and question God. But she doesn't. She chooses to change her attitude and look at this daily obstacle as a blessing...a BLESSING! What a concept!?
My prayers have changed since reading my friends status. I pray that I can change my attitude about the obstacles that Satan throws my way. I pray that no matter what happens that my joy stays intact and that I can smile through the pain and know that I am in the Lord's hands and that He has a plan!
I pray that her outlook challenges all of us to change ours!! Thanksgiving the holiday is over, but the thanksgiving we give for all of our blessings and obstacles should be a daily thing everyday of the year!
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Never Did I Ever
When I was growing up there were a list of things that my parents would say to me that I never thought I would say to my kids. There were the usuals: "because I said so", "were your born in a barn" and many others. There were also the things that I knew that I would say because, well, it comes with being a parent. Things like "Mommy and Daddy are talking", "pick up your toys or you cannot have ____ (fill in the blank)", "if you can't be nice you are going to bed", etc.
When I became a parent, I looked down at my beautiful daughter's face and could not get enough. I couldn't stop smiling and laughing at the cute things she did as the months went on. Then she started crawling and thus began the next group of sayings. The things I never thought I would say. The following are just some of the things that I have uttered as my daughter has grown:
"Stop licking the dog."
"Stop licking the floor."
"Stop licking your brother."
"Stop licking the cabinets."
"Stop licking the bathtub."
"Stop licking the door."
"The dogs tail is not a popsicle!"
"Braelyn, your brother is not a chew toy!"
"Please don't put Max's foot in your mouth."
"Stop wiping your bottom on the carpet!"
"Braelyn get out of the vasoline!"
"Braelyn stop taking your clothes off!"
"Don't take your panties off outside."
"Please don't pick your bottom while you are on the potty."
Well a few days ago there was another phrase that I uttered to my daughter. In the words of "Monk", here's what happened.
Braelyn was in her toy room playing and laughing. She got quiet so I looked over to see what she was doing. She was playing with her computer so I turned back around. My 2 month old son started crying to eat so I picked him up and started nursing him. A couple of minutes into nursing him Braelyn came over to me with no undies on and said "here you go Mommy". She had something in her hand so I said "thank you". As she started to turn her hand over and try to put it in my lap I got a whiff of what she was carrying. Oh yes, you guessed it, her poop. She was hand delivering her poop to me. In one second I thought "she doesn't know that this is wrong and how gross it is, she is only two and has never had to be scolded for anything like this. You can't yell. Keep it together and be calm when you do vocally react." So I said "Braelyn poopy is not a present. Please don't give it to people. Poopy stays in the toilet and if you have an accident it stays in your panties." Okay, the second part I think is a good reaction. After I said it I couldn't believe that is the route my brain decided to go with. I could just see it falling on my sons head as he was trying to eat and that grossed me out. That would mean a bath for him and pretty much a bath for Braelyn. Let's just say that the footprint she left on the kitchen floor on her way over was not made from mud.
I can't even begin to imagine what she has in store for us in the coming years. There is never a dull moment and she ALWAYS knows how to make us laugh. But sometimes she is more creative than I would like. Oh the joys of parenthood. And she's only two!!
When I became a parent, I looked down at my beautiful daughter's face and could not get enough. I couldn't stop smiling and laughing at the cute things she did as the months went on. Then she started crawling and thus began the next group of sayings. The things I never thought I would say. The following are just some of the things that I have uttered as my daughter has grown:
"Stop licking the dog."
"Stop licking the floor."
"Stop licking your brother."
"Stop licking the cabinets."
"Stop licking the bathtub."
"Stop licking the door."
"The dogs tail is not a popsicle!"
"Braelyn, your brother is not a chew toy!"
"Please don't put Max's foot in your mouth."
"Stop wiping your bottom on the carpet!"
"Braelyn get out of the vasoline!"
"Braelyn stop taking your clothes off!"
"Don't take your panties off outside."
"Please don't pick your bottom while you are on the potty."
Well a few days ago there was another phrase that I uttered to my daughter. In the words of "Monk", here's what happened.
Braelyn was in her toy room playing and laughing. She got quiet so I looked over to see what she was doing. She was playing with her computer so I turned back around. My 2 month old son started crying to eat so I picked him up and started nursing him. A couple of minutes into nursing him Braelyn came over to me with no undies on and said "here you go Mommy". She had something in her hand so I said "thank you". As she started to turn her hand over and try to put it in my lap I got a whiff of what she was carrying. Oh yes, you guessed it, her poop. She was hand delivering her poop to me. In one second I thought "she doesn't know that this is wrong and how gross it is, she is only two and has never had to be scolded for anything like this. You can't yell. Keep it together and be calm when you do vocally react." So I said "Braelyn poopy is not a present. Please don't give it to people. Poopy stays in the toilet and if you have an accident it stays in your panties." Okay, the second part I think is a good reaction. After I said it I couldn't believe that is the route my brain decided to go with. I could just see it falling on my sons head as he was trying to eat and that grossed me out. That would mean a bath for him and pretty much a bath for Braelyn. Let's just say that the footprint she left on the kitchen floor on her way over was not made from mud.
I can't even begin to imagine what she has in store for us in the coming years. There is never a dull moment and she ALWAYS knows how to make us laugh. But sometimes she is more creative than I would like. Oh the joys of parenthood. And she's only two!!
Friday, October 12, 2012
The Story Begins
On August 9th 2012 my life changed again...for the better, again.
Life was about to get even more wonderful and beautiful and happy. My husband and I were on our way to the hospital to have our second baby.
We arrived at the hospital at 7:30am, the nurses immediately started IV's and we were off to the next adventure of our 6 years of marriage. At 3:41pm, after 6 hours of labor and 10 minutes of pushing (all natural mind you), our 8 lb and 13 oz beautiful son Maddox was born.
I didn't realize how that feeling of awe just overwhelms your entire being all over again. Two and a half years before, we were in the same place doing this same thing and feeling overwhelmingly blessed to welcome our daughter, Braelyn, into our lives. I remember how drastically life changed when she was born. Life became more colorful and bright. It became more of what I thought it would be. More of me felt complete instantly. And God revealed himself in ways that are indescribable unless you have experienced it. And even then it is hard to put into words. I also remember feeling overwhelmed with responsibility and all those chaotic feelings that come along with that. I remember thinking "We are in charge of a human being. Oh my!" I remember how crazy and how wonderful everything got all at once, instantly, as soon as they put her on my chest. On August 9th at 3:41pm, I was amazed how all those same feelings came rushing back, instantly, the very moment that they laid him on my chest! Another beautiful baby to love and hold and cuddle. I felt immediately overwhelmed not only with those feelings but with the feeling of being overwhelmingly BLESSED! God had chosen to bless us again!
Still, in that same moment of feeling overwhelmingly blessed, a small part of me felt sad. My incredible family of three had been transformed into an even more incredible family of four. This little baby had made my life feel even more complete (if that was possible). I was so incredibly overwhelmed with happiness and joy, and yet at the same moment a small part of me still felt sad.
You see, in early January, my husband and I found out that we were pregnant. My daughter was 8 months old and we lived in a two bedroom apartment with barely enough room for the three of us. Needless to say I freaked! Ha! Where were we going to put another baby?? How did this happen?? I mean, I know how it happened, but...oh wow! I could not believe we were about to go down this road again so soon. I needed some more time. Turns out that was the exactly what I was about to get.
On April 1st, I went to the doctor for my first OB appointment. I was so excited now that we were headed down a road that would lead us to the sweet face of another little beautiful baby. I was 11 weeks along by now and the doc did the usual doppler to hear the heartbeat. We ended up getting an ultrasound. We hadn't learned anything at the ultrasound because the techs can't say anything. At the appointment the next morning my doctor confirmed our worst fears. I had miscarried. Not only did I miscarry, but we had twins...TWINS! What followed over the next few weeks were a roller coaster of emotions. There were so many things that we went through and dealt with. Things that people said (by the way don't ever tell someone who miscarried that the baby is better off because there was probably something wrong), things that we felt (fair and unfair to me and others). Everyday things became harder to do for a little bit. Bobby and I both dealt with a lot but we came through it (even though we never thought we would come through this terribly difficult and tragic thing) with a better understanding of God and each other and our family. We gained a new perspective on everything. God had revealed himself in ways that changed us forever. Our twins had changed us forever. If we did not have anymore kids after Max, we would always be a family of 6, only 2 of our little ones we won't get to meet until we get to Heaven. To be honest I'm a little jealous that my grandparents got to meet them first. I picture my Pappy sitting down with them on his knees talking and telling them stories (probably embarrassing ones) and laughing. My goal as a parent is to raise my children in Christ and to help them get to Heaven in every way possible. Two of my children are there with Christ waiting for me. I'd say that's a win.
I tell you all of this not to dig through all of this again and pour it all out there. It makes me a little uncomfortable to even bring it up and mention it without being asked to be honest. But something that some friends of mine and I talked about a couple weeks ago at church is that maybe when you feel uncomfortable you are doing what you are supposed to do. I want this blog to be a completely transparent blog. No hiding behind anything. My life is not perfect in any way, shape or form. I am flawed. I have a very strong and determined mindset and can be very stubborn. I make mistakes everyday. Most of the time several mistakes...by noon! My priorities in life are God, Bobby, kids, other family, and friends. That is in the correct order too. I am a Christian and love the Lord. I am working on being a better Christian though. I am a hypocrite, as every person is as long as they are human. I have a lot to work on and even more to learn still. I love to laugh and have a good time with people I care about. I intend to use this as a place to reflect on the craziness that life brings, good times, bad times, and funny stories (with 2 kids you know there will be some). I say this all so that you can get to know me and my crazy family. Life is an amazing thing. God has a lot to show us and it's not always fun, but it is sometimes funny. We all should be able to smile at ourselves and each other. One thing I have learned over the years is that God is good, all the time and all the time, God is good! Happy reading!
Life was about to get even more wonderful and beautiful and happy. My husband and I were on our way to the hospital to have our second baby.
We arrived at the hospital at 7:30am, the nurses immediately started IV's and we were off to the next adventure of our 6 years of marriage. At 3:41pm, after 6 hours of labor and 10 minutes of pushing (all natural mind you), our 8 lb and 13 oz beautiful son Maddox was born.
I didn't realize how that feeling of awe just overwhelms your entire being all over again. Two and a half years before, we were in the same place doing this same thing and feeling overwhelmingly blessed to welcome our daughter, Braelyn, into our lives. I remember how drastically life changed when she was born. Life became more colorful and bright. It became more of what I thought it would be. More of me felt complete instantly. And God revealed himself in ways that are indescribable unless you have experienced it. And even then it is hard to put into words. I also remember feeling overwhelmed with responsibility and all those chaotic feelings that come along with that. I remember thinking "We are in charge of a human being. Oh my!" I remember how crazy and how wonderful everything got all at once, instantly, as soon as they put her on my chest. On August 9th at 3:41pm, I was amazed how all those same feelings came rushing back, instantly, the very moment that they laid him on my chest! Another beautiful baby to love and hold and cuddle. I felt immediately overwhelmed not only with those feelings but with the feeling of being overwhelmingly BLESSED! God had chosen to bless us again!
Still, in that same moment of feeling overwhelmingly blessed, a small part of me felt sad. My incredible family of three had been transformed into an even more incredible family of four. This little baby had made my life feel even more complete (if that was possible). I was so incredibly overwhelmed with happiness and joy, and yet at the same moment a small part of me still felt sad.
You see, in early January, my husband and I found out that we were pregnant. My daughter was 8 months old and we lived in a two bedroom apartment with barely enough room for the three of us. Needless to say I freaked! Ha! Where were we going to put another baby?? How did this happen?? I mean, I know how it happened, but...oh wow! I could not believe we were about to go down this road again so soon. I needed some more time. Turns out that was the exactly what I was about to get.
On April 1st, I went to the doctor for my first OB appointment. I was so excited now that we were headed down a road that would lead us to the sweet face of another little beautiful baby. I was 11 weeks along by now and the doc did the usual doppler to hear the heartbeat. We ended up getting an ultrasound. We hadn't learned anything at the ultrasound because the techs can't say anything. At the appointment the next morning my doctor confirmed our worst fears. I had miscarried. Not only did I miscarry, but we had twins...TWINS! What followed over the next few weeks were a roller coaster of emotions. There were so many things that we went through and dealt with. Things that people said (by the way don't ever tell someone who miscarried that the baby is better off because there was probably something wrong), things that we felt (fair and unfair to me and others). Everyday things became harder to do for a little bit. Bobby and I both dealt with a lot but we came through it (even though we never thought we would come through this terribly difficult and tragic thing) with a better understanding of God and each other and our family. We gained a new perspective on everything. God had revealed himself in ways that changed us forever. Our twins had changed us forever. If we did not have anymore kids after Max, we would always be a family of 6, only 2 of our little ones we won't get to meet until we get to Heaven. To be honest I'm a little jealous that my grandparents got to meet them first. I picture my Pappy sitting down with them on his knees talking and telling them stories (probably embarrassing ones) and laughing. My goal as a parent is to raise my children in Christ and to help them get to Heaven in every way possible. Two of my children are there with Christ waiting for me. I'd say that's a win.
I tell you all of this not to dig through all of this again and pour it all out there. It makes me a little uncomfortable to even bring it up and mention it without being asked to be honest. But something that some friends of mine and I talked about a couple weeks ago at church is that maybe when you feel uncomfortable you are doing what you are supposed to do. I want this blog to be a completely transparent blog. No hiding behind anything. My life is not perfect in any way, shape or form. I am flawed. I have a very strong and determined mindset and can be very stubborn. I make mistakes everyday. Most of the time several mistakes...by noon! My priorities in life are God, Bobby, kids, other family, and friends. That is in the correct order too. I am a Christian and love the Lord. I am working on being a better Christian though. I am a hypocrite, as every person is as long as they are human. I have a lot to work on and even more to learn still. I love to laugh and have a good time with people I care about. I intend to use this as a place to reflect on the craziness that life brings, good times, bad times, and funny stories (with 2 kids you know there will be some). I say this all so that you can get to know me and my crazy family. Life is an amazing thing. God has a lot to show us and it's not always fun, but it is sometimes funny. We all should be able to smile at ourselves and each other. One thing I have learned over the years is that God is good, all the time and all the time, God is good! Happy reading!
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